Today I did something really really stupid and opened up to my drunk ass room mate. I guess my friends noticed how "closed" I am. In their inebriated state they decided to confront me about it. Cassandra (my roomie) told me how beautiful I was inside and out and how much I care about "humanity" (she says as she flails her arms as if to encompass all of humanity in a bear hug, it was really quite adorable) and what people think. She told me she doesn't understand how I could not see what she sees. She said that she had these mental barriers that kept her from talking with people or being social because of things about her, and then she went on to talk about how she thinks I have a crap ton more than her.I told her what I see myself as, opened my shell a little, and she looked at me like I was crazy. She doesn't get it. I wish I understood it too. Why can't I just accept who I am? Do I even know who I am? I'm not the person I think I am, or at least that's what every one tells me. Why can't I find me? Where am I?
God I hope she doesn't remember in the morning.
But then again... that would go against my new sharing binge. Fuck.
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