Off the map.

The Risk thing didn't go too well. Hah. Surprise? It's painful to see him now. Why was I so stupid. Now whenever I see him, my best friend, my insides go all funny and they hurt. Walking away from him is the hardest thing I do every day. So I've been a bit down lately and thinking too much. Last night I told myself I was going to go off the map and cut all ties with social interaction. I haven't decided yet if it is a good idea yet. Part of me thinks that it will help me, let me immerse myself in my school work. But the other part knows that it is just a pitiful attempt to get Shea (the boy) out of my head. Which is pretty stupid. Immersion will help a little, but he will still be there in my head when I lay down in bed, just like all my pasts that visit in the dark. Ohhh the cliche in that line is almost painful. I'm going to post it anyways ^_^

I'll try the immersion thing out for awhile, see how crazy I get.